SATIRE XIII

Juvenal

THE TERRORS OF A GUILTY CONSCIENCE

    No deed that sets an example of evil brings joy
to the doer of it. The first punishment is this: that
no guilty man is acquitted at the bar of his own
conscience, though he have won his cause by a
dishonest urn, and the corrupt favour of the judge.
What do you suppose, Calvinus, that people are now
thinking about the recent villainy and the charge of
trust betrayed? Your means are not so small that
the weight of a slight loss will weigh you down;
nor is your misfortune rare. Such a mishap has been
known to many; it is one of the common kind,
plucked at random out of Fortune's heap. Away
with undue lamentations! a man's wrath should not
be hotter than is fit, nor greater than the loss sus-
tained. You are scarce able to bear the very
smallest particle of trivial misfortune; your bowels
foam hot within you because your friend will not give
up to you the sacred trust committed to him; does
this amaze one who was born in the Consulship of
Fonteius,^l and has left sixty years behind him? Have
you gained nothing from all your experience?
    Great indeed is Philosophy, conqueror of Fortune,
and sacred are the precepts of her book; but they
too are deemed happy who have learnt under the
schooling of life to endure its ills without fretting
against the yoke. What day is there, however festal,
which fails to disclose theft, treachery and fraud:
gain made out of every kind of crime, and money
won by the dagger or the pill-box? ² For honest

¹ C. Fonteius Capito, consul A.D. 67. That fixes the date
of this Satire to the year A.D. 127.
² Pyxis is any bowl made of boxwood.

men are scarce; hardly so numerous as the gates of
Thebes, or the mouths of the enriching Nile.¹ We
are living in a ninth age; an age more evil than that
of iron--one for whose wickedness Nature herself
can find no name, no metal from which to call it.
We summon Gods and men to our aid with cries as
loud as that with which the vocal dole ² applauds
Faesidius when he pleads. Tell me, you old gentle-
man, who should surely be wearing the bulla ³ of child-
hood, do you know nothing of the charm of other
people's money? Are you ignorant of how the world
laughs at your simplicity when you demand of any
man that he shall not perjure himself, and believe
that some divinity is to be found in temples or in
altars red with blood? Primitive men lived thus in the
olden days, before Saturn laid down his diadem and
fled, betaking himself to the rustic sickle; in the
days when Juno was a little maid, and Jupiter still
a private gentleman in the caves of Ida.⁴ In those
days there were no banquets of the heavenly host
above the clouds, there was no Trojan youth, no fair
wife of Hercules ⁶ for cup-bearer, no Vulcan wiping
begrimed arms by the Liparaean ⁶ forge after tossing
down his nectar. Each God then dined by himself;
there was no such mob of deities as there is today;
the stars were satisfied with a few divinities, and
pressed with a lighter load upon the hapless Atlas.
No monarch had as yet had the gloomy realms below
allotted to him; there was no grim Pluto with a

¹ Thebes had seven gates, the Nile seven mouths.
² The dole (sportula) is called "vocal" because it secures
to the patron the applause of his client when he pleads in
court.
³ The bulla was a case of gold containing an amulet against
the evil eye, worn by all free-born boys until they put on the
toga virilis.
⁴ Mount Ida in Crete where Zeus was born.   ⁵ Hebe.
⁶ Lipari, the group of islands elsewhere called Aeolian
(i. 7), where Vulcan's forge was placed.

Sicilian spouse; there was no wheel,^l no rock,² no
Furies, no black torturing vulture;³ the shades led
a merry life, with no kings over their nether world.
Dishonesty was a prodigy in those days; when men
deemed it a heinous sin, worthy of death, if a youth
did not rise before his elders, or a boy before any
bearded man, though he himself might see more
strawberries, and bigger heaps of acorns, in his own
home. So worshipful was it to be older by four
years, so equal to reverend age was the first down [hair]
of manhood !
    But nowadays, if a friend does not disavow a
sum entrusted to him, if he restore the old purse
with all its rust, his good faith is deemed a portent
calling for the sacred books of Etruria, and to be
expiated by a lamb decked with garlands. If I dis-
cover an upright and blameless man, I liken him to
a boy born half beast, or to fishes found by a marvel-
ling rustic under the plough, or to a pregnant mule:
I am as disturbed as though it had rained stones,
or a swarm of bees had settled in a long cluster on
a temple-roof, or as though some river had poured
down wondrous whirling floods of milk into the sea.
    You complain, do you, that by an impious fraud
you have been robbed of ten thousand sesterces?
What if someone else has by a like fraud lost a secret
deposit of two hundred thousand sesterces? A third
a still greater sum, which could scarce find room in
the corners of his ample treasure-chest? So simple
and easy a thing is it to disregard heavenly witnesses,
if no mortal man is privy to the secret!   Hear
how loudly the fellow denies the charge! See
the assurance of his perfidious face! He swears
by the rays of the sun and the Tarpeian thunder-
bolts; by the lance of Mars and the arrows of the
Cirrhaean Seer; by the shafts and quiver of the
maiden huntress, and by thine own trident, O Nep-
tune, thou lord of the Aegaean sea. He throws
in besides the bow of Hercules, and Minerva's spear,
and all the weapons contained in all the armouries
of Heaven; if he be a father, "May I eat," he
tearfully declares, "my own son's head boiled, and
dripping with Egyptian vinegar! "
    Some think that all things are subject to the
chances of Fortune; these believe that the world has
no governor to move it, but that Nature rolls along
the changes of day and year; they will therefore lay
their hands on any altar you please without a tremor.
Another fears that punishment will follow crime;
he believes that there are Gods, but perjures him-
self all the same, reasoning thus within himself: "Let
Isis deal with my body as she wills, and blast my
sight with her avenging rattle, provided only that even
when blind I may keep the money which I deny
[having received]; it is worth having consumption or
running ulcers or losing half one's leg as the price!
Ladas ¹ himself, if not needing treatment at Anticyra ²
or by Archigenes, would not hesitate to accept the
rich man's gout; for what is to be got out of fame for
swiftness of foot, or from a hungry branch of the
Pisaean olive³ ? The wrath of the Gods may be
great, but it assuredly is slow; if then they charge
themselves with punishing all the guilty, when will
they come to me? And besides I may perchance
find the God placable; he is inclined to forgive things
like this. Many commit the same crime and fare
differently: one man gets a cross as the reward of
his villainy, another a crown."

¹ A famous Greek runner.
² An island on which hellebore, the remedy for madness,
was grown. There were two towns called Anticyra, one in
Phocia, one in Thessaly; both produced hellebore. [Archigenes
was a doctor].

    That is how they reassure their minds when in
terror for some deadly guilt. If you summon them
then to the holy shrine, they will be there before
you; nay, they will themselves drag you thither, and
dare you to the proof; for when a bad cause is well
backed by a bold face, the man gets credit for self-
confidence. Such a one plays a part, like the runaway
buffoon of the witty Catullus,^l but you, poor wretch,
may shout so as to out-do Stentor,² or rather as
loudly as the Mars of Homer, "Do you hear all this,
O Jupiter, with lip unmoved, when you ought to
have been making yourself heard, whether you be
made of marble or of bronze? Else why do I open
my packet of holy incense, and place it on your
blazing altar? Why offer slices of a calf's liver or
the fat of a white pig? So far as I can see, there is
nothing to choose between your images and the
statue of Vagellius!"
    And now hear what consolations can be offered
on the other side by one who has not embraced the
Cynics, nor read the doctrines of the Stoics (who
only differ from the Cynics by a shirt) ³ --nor yet ad-
mired Epicurus for being happy by the growing cuttings
in his tiny garden. Let undiagnosed maladies be tended
by doctors of repute; your pulse may be entrusted to
a mere disciple of Philippus.⁴ If in all the world you
cannot show me so abominable a crime, I hold my
peace; I will not forbid you to smite your breast with
your fists, or to pummel your face with open palm, see-
ing that after so great a loss you must close your doors,
and your household bewail the loss of money with
louder lamentations than a death. In such a mis-
fortune no grief is simulated; no one is content to
rend the top of his garment, or to squeeze forced

¹ [Reference from Satire VIII]: "Your means exhausted
Damasippus, you hired out your voice to the stage, taking
the part of the Clamourous Ghost of Catullus."
² See Hom. Il. v. 785 [Stentor had a booming voice from
which we get the term "stentorian".]
³ The Cynics discarded the tunic.
⁴ Some inferior doctor; unknown.

moisture from his eyes; unfeigned are the tears
which lament the loss of wealth.
    But if you see every court beset with complaints
like yours; if after a document has been read over ten
times by the opposing party, they declare it worthless
kindling (though their own handwriting speaks otherwise
- as too the signet ring, most choice of sardonyx stones -
kept in an ivory case)--do you, my fine fellow, suppose
that you are to be placed outside the common lot,
because you are the son of a white hen, while we are
common chickens, hatched out of unfortunate eggs?
Your loss is a modest one, to be endured with a
moderate amount of anger - if you turn an eye towards
greater wrongs. Compare with your case the hired
robber, or the fire started by sulphur and devised so
the flames amass at your front door; think too of
those who carry off from ancient temples splendid
cups with venerable rust, that were the gift of
nations, or crowns dedicated by some ancient
monarch! If such things are not to be had, a petty
desecrator will be found to scrape off the gilding
from the thigh of Hercules, or from the very face
of Neptune, or to strip Castor of his beaten gold.
And why should he hesitate, when his usual thing
is to melt down an entire [statue of Jupiter the]
Thunderer? Compare too the manufacturers and
sellers of poison, and the man who should be cast
into the sea inside an ox's hide, with whom a luck-
less destiny encloses a harmless ape.¹ What a
mere fraction are these of the crimes which Gallicus,
the guardian of our city, has to listen to from dawn
to eve! If you would know what mankind is like,
then one court-house will suffice; spend a few days
in it, and when you come out, dare to call yourself

¹ See note on viii. 214. [which reads] "The ancient
punishment for parricide was that the criminal should be
tied up in a sack along with a dog, an ape, a snake, and
a cock, and then cast into the sea."
² Rutilius Galllicus, prefect of the city under Domitian.

unfortunate. Who marvels at a swollen throat in the
Alps? or in Meroe ¹ at a woman's breast bigger than
her fat babe? Who is amazed to see a German
with blue eyes and yellow hair, twisting his greasy
curls into a horn? We marvel not, clearly because
this one nature is common to them all. The pygmy
warrior marches forth in his tiny arms to encounter the
sudden swoop and clamorous cloud of Thracian birds;
but soon, no match for his foe, he is snatched up
by the savage crane and borne in his crooked talons
through the air.² If you saw this in our own country,
you would shake with laughter; but in that land,
where the whole host is only one foot high, though
like battles are witnessed every day, no one laughs!
    What? Is there to be no punishment for
that perjured soul and his impious fraud?" Well,
suppose him to have been hurried off in heavy
chains, and slain (what more could anger ask?) at
our good pleasure; yet your loss still remains, your
deposit will not be saved; and the smallest drop of
blood from that headless body will bring you hatred
along with your consolation. " O ! but vengeance
is good, sweeter than life itself." Yes; so say the
ignorant, whose passionate hearts you may see ablaze
at the slightest cause, sometimes for no cause at all;
any occasion, indeed, however small it be, suffices for
their wrath. But Chrysippus ³ will not say so, nor the
gentle Thales,⁴ nor the old man ⁵ who dwelt near sweet
Hymettus, one who would not have given his accuser a
drop of the hemlock-draught which was administered
to him in that cruel bondage. Benign Philosophy,
by degrees, strips from us most of our vices, and all

¹ An island in Upper Egypt formed by two branches of the
Nile.
² Legends of battles between cranes and pygmies are found
in Homer (Il. iii. 3-6), Aristotle, and elsewhere.
³ The great Stoic philosopher, B.C. 280-207.
⁴ The Ionic philosopher of Miletus, about B.C. 636-546.
⁵ Socrates.

our mistakes; it is she that first teaches us the right.
For vengeance is always the delight of a little, weak,
and petty mind; of which you may straightway draw
proof from this--that no one so rejoices in vengeance
as a woman.
    But why should you suppose that a man escapes
punishment whose mind is ever kept in terror by the
consciousness of an evil deed which lashes him with
unheard blows, his own soul ever shaking over him
the unseen whip of torture? It is a grievous punish-
ment, more cruel far than any devised by the stern
Caedicius ¹ or by Rhadamanthus, to carry in one's
breast by night and by day one's own accusing wit-
ness. The Pythian prophetess once made answer to
a Spartan that it would not go unpunished that he
had once considered keeping a sum entrusted to
him and to support the wrong by perjury; for he
had asked what was the mind of the Deity, and
whether Apollo counselled him to do the deed. He
therefore restored the money, through fear, and not
from honesty; nevertheless he found all the words of
the Oracle to be true and worthy of the shrine, being
destroyed with his house and family and
relations, however far removed. Such are the penal-
ties endured by the mere wish to sin; for he who
secretly meditates a crime within his breast has all
the guiltiness of the deed.
    What then if the purposed deed be done? His
disquiet never ceases, not even at meal times;
his throat is as dry as in a fever; he can scarcely
take his food, it swells between his teeth; he spits
out the wine, poor wretch; he cannot abide the
choicest old Albanian, and if you bring out some-
thing finer still, wrinkles gather upon his brow as

¹ Not known [the name is used again in Satire XVI as
if he were a prosecutor or judge].

though it had been puckered up by some Falernian
[wine] turned sour. In the night, if his troubles grant
him a short slumber, and his limbs, after tossing upon
the bed, are sinking into repose, he straightway be-
holds the temple and the altar of the God whom he
has outraged; and what weighs with greatest terror
in his soul - he sees you in his dreams; your awful
form, larger than life, frightening his quaking heart
and making him confess. These are the men who
tremble and grow pale at every lightning-flash; when
it thunders, they are breathless at the first rumbling in
the heavens; not as though it were an affair of chance
or brought about by the raging of the winds, but as
though the flame had fallen in wrath and as a judg-
ment upon the earth. If one storm passes by harm-
lessly, they look more anxiously for the next, as
though this calm were only a reprieve. If, again, they
begin to suffer from pains in the side, with a fever that
robs them of their sleep, they believe that the sickness
has been inflicted on them by the offended Deity:
these they deem to be the missiles, these the arrows of
the Gods. They dare not vow a bleating victim to a
shrine, or offer a crested cock to the Lares; for what
hope is permitted to the guilty sick? What victim
is not more worthy of life than they? Inconstant
and shifty, for the most part, is the nature of bad
men. In committing a crime, they have courage
enough and to spare; they only begin to feel what
is right and what wrong when it has been committed.
Yet their nature, firm and changeless, returns to the
ways which it has condemned. For who has fixed a
time limit for his own offending? When did a shame-
less face ever recover the rejected blush? What man
have you ever seen that was satisfied with one act of
villainy? Our scoundrel will yet put his feet into the
snare; he will have to endure the dark prison-house
and the hook, or one of those crags in the Aegaean
Sea that are crowded with our noble exiles. You will
rejoice over the harsh punishment of a hated name,
and at length admit with joy that none of the Gods
is deaf or like Tiresias.¹

¹ The soothsayer Tiresias was blind.

urn : Either the choice for judge(s) in the case or their decision(s)/votes drawn from the urn were tampered with.

pyxis : Ramsay translated this word as "bowl" but Whitaker has "small box/casket (originally boxwood) for medicine."
                  Rudd's expression "pill-box" seems best. This would mean then that someone was drugged or poisoned.

strawberries, acorns : i.e. was wealthier I assume. Now they bow down to money and not age.

half beast : bimembri : to show the confusion in translating here are Whitaker's entries:

bimembr.i            ADJ    3 2 DAT S X POS
bimembr.i            ADJ    3 2 ABL S X POS
bimembris, bimembris, bimembre ADJ
having limbs of two kinds, part man part beast;
bimembr.i            N      3 3 DAT S M                   Late
bimembr.i            N      3 3 ABL S M
bimembris, bimembris N M    uncommon
Centaurs (pl.); part man part beast;

membr.i              N      2 2 GEN S N
membrum, membri N N
member, limb, organ; (esp.) male genital member; apartment, room; section;

Ramsay had it "double limbs" in the 1918 translation and then changed to "half beast"; Rudd has "centaur" and Green "double member" - and figuring Juvenal's penchant for graphic sexual expressions he probably doesn't mean two arms. Since the other examples deal with common things out of place I would guess "centaur" wasn't what Juvenal had in mind unless as a double entendre.

mule : Mules are sterile.

Seer : Apollo; the "maiden huntress" is Diana.

Vagellius : Obviously someone who got a statue that Juvenal feels wasn't deserved.

Rhadamanthus : A judge in Hades.

Lares : household gods.

hook : The hook criminals were dragged around by.

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